Thunder

I think I was born with unusual levels of entitlement and the need for control.  If something doesn't go just the way I pictured it and exactly the right time with minimal effort and stress, a burning fire grows within me. Seriously, I know I can be melodramatic at times but this is not one of those times.  It literally feels like a fire is running rampant through my soul, an electrical wire unleashed, fizzing at the sides of my brain, a glow behind all of my thoughts.  Please don't recommend me for anger management, it's rarely an external reaction, but dang can it wreck a good day.

How do I fix this?  It feels like I've been working on it for a long long time.  Sometimes I'm a little perplexed for it is so deeply ingrained it feels I must have been born with it.  When does humility come naturally?  When does a lack of control become a sought after way of being?

A storm has hunkered itself above Calgary today, lightening here and there, constant rolls of thunder, but the rain is sporadic.  The air feels dry and electric, just waiting for a breaking point.  When the rain comes, though, the earth soaks.  It is no longer tense with the storm but full and reflective and green. Gimme some of that...

Image

Image