Thanks to a year of feeling emotionally unstable and a few months of counselling, I have gained a few 'anxiety alert' skills as well as healthy coping methods in-case-of-emergency. Unfortunately I haven't learned very well how to not become anxious and overwhelmed in the first place. BUT, baby steps right?
So this week I got the red light. An extra day of practicum, social events, church, homework, working here and there, and...oh yea, a husband. It's been a bit of a change of schedule and I haven't been saying 'no' enough to balance it all out. Friday and half of Saturday became officially dedicated to doing what needed to be done to feel secure, and then relaxing/doing the opposite of working.
This involved staying up and sleeping in, good food, good music, movie watching and going for a walk (even in the snow). It is amazing what a difference that makes, being intentional about time off. The commitments are the same this week, but now I feel like I can handle them. I don't feel shortness of breath and drastic thoughts of inability and impossibility. Most surprisingly, my relationship with Colin even feels 'lighter'. We were being goofs even after our long day yesterday and our (my) stress didn't fill every interaction. I knew that my anxiety would have an affect on our relationship if we didn't learn how to deal with it, and this weekend I was more encouraged by how we could counteract it.
Space. Quiet. Fun.