The temperature dipped down again.
Snow fall warnings spread across Southern Alberta and the tree branches and front steps slowly became weighted with the fluffy, perfectly formed flakes.
The next day was a stark beauty, typical of Calgary. Pale blue skies and white frosted earth.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Jesus, love, relationships, rules, grace, brokenness...in most of these things I feel a lot of two things:
1) "I have no idea." I try to think through and process these things as fully as I can. Who was Jesus really? What does his love actually look like? How am I supposed to ever be a good person when I'm screwed up inside? Will my relationships always be sort of hard? Is grace a real thing or is this just a big joke that I'm missing out on?
I think through these things and this is what I think and all I can conclude is "I have no idea." So...that's handy.
2)"There is beauty." It's funny how, at the same time as I talk circles around an issue and admit defeat, I see a whole lot of beauty in this stuff. At the end of the day, LOVE is a living being thing and I can't deny it. I see it in Jesus, I see it in relationships, I see it in rules, I see it in grace, I see it in brokenness. It colours everything with a tinge of beauty, even though I may not ever understand them.
It hides behind the scenes in a lot of things. In some it stands front and centre. In other things it's been kicked out onto the street but it's refusing to leave...
This is the conclusion I can come to. When it's -30, there is beauty. When it's cloudy, there is beauty. When it's sunny, there's obviously beauty.
It's there, even in the cold.
And that has to count for something.