Over the years, I feel I have become a little bit of a grinch towards the 'celebration' aspects of holidays. Why do we party, why do we stay up late, why do we spend money on a new dress, for a day that's like the rest but it ends in 13 instead of 12?
Because it's fun, that's why, but I grinch on...
On the other hand, my interest in the meaning and introspectiveness that can be derived from various holidays has grown. And that, I suppose, is just as good a reason for late night partying as anything else.
This last year has been very good.
Colin and I wedded, and that has been way more fun than I even expected. Getting to live in our cozy apartment, try new food and coffee often, adventures to the coast and around our own neighbourhood, lots of learning and lots of laughing.
I gained a new family, and thus over the past year have had the chance to grow closer with both my family and my new family. What a lucky gal.
My girl friends have taken on a deeper importance to me, and I have felt blessed and challenged by them
The image I had in my mind for a long time of who God is has changed. This has been nothing short of CRAZY in my life and in my soul. It has changed from seeing God as a condemning, disappointed old man to an extremely loving, passionate father. As you can imagine, I want to spend considerably more time with him now.
The resolutions of last year took their shape, but in ways different than I imagined.
My desire to enjoy the present and stop always looking forward to the future occurred seemingly without my knowledge (wish that happened with other resolutions amirite!?). I have felt so content and cemented in the here and now over the past several months. I have an inkling that this is merely seasonal and I may have to work a little harder at this in the future, but I'll enjoy it now :)
I also made the very broad resolution to love people more. Who even know what that means? I definitely did not know how that would look practically, but I know that God took that resolution to heart and started working on things within me to make it a reality. He confronted my pride (weekly...), He brought undealt with situations to light, He gave me miraculous forgiveness as well as an extra dose of joy. I couldn't always pinpoint these things happening during the year, but I can say that this Christmas holiday was significantly more enjoyable than last. I wanted to be with the family and friends that we were spending time with and I desired to put the time and effort into being with them and getting to know them more. I think that is a resolution success (no thanks to me albeit)
This next year? I'd like to think it is a lot of the same. Is GROWTH to broad a resolution? Maybe...
I suppose depth is too, but that is truly what I hope for.
I hope for a greater depth in my faith, in my understanding of God, and His love for me and vice versa. I want it to take up all the space in my soul.
I hope for a greater depth in my relationship with Colin. That the love I have for him will continue to strengthen and take root like a tree, flourishing below the surface as well as above.
I hope for a depth to my passions in my field and in other areas of inequality. I want to continue to learn and become knowledgeable so that I can intelligently convey why these inequalities are not okay. I don't want to be full of hot air, and I want my passions to take hold in my mind and spirit so they become more than passions, but convictions.
And what do you hope, dream, aspire, resolve?