Insecurity

There is a battle raging these days within my soul.  I'm sure many women (and I'm sure men too) know this battle.  It is exhausting and painful and you just want to get past it.  The insecurity battle. I hadn't been in it for a while, and it was wonderful.  On the best days, I was almost further than "I don't care what people think" to the point of "it doesn't even cross my mind".  I felt unburdened and positive.

And suddenly, one day, I succumbed to an onslaught of comparison.  I looked at others and matched myself up beside them.  Not just physically but in my abilities, accomplishments, and personality.  I quickly went from content to not good enough and let me tell you, that mindset destroys my spirit.   Do you notice this too?  Do you see the scars we give ourselves when we repeat "I am not good enough"?

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It amazed me how unsuspectingly this fight came on and how quickly I fell into an emotional heap.  I know Jesus is crazy about me.  I know I have family and friends who love me deeply.  But I was more focused on the people I wasn't as good as than those who are most valuable to me.

Luckily, I realized relatively quickly that I was self-destructing and I needed to stop.  But reorienting ourselves to a place of freedom and contentment again is always a little tricky.  It takes some convincing, some work, some refocusing.  We are loved and valuable, and some how we need to accept that and move forward with that knowledge. It shouldn't be our primary goal to make ourselves loved and make ourselves valuable.  When that becomes our end goal, we become crippled because we will always be able to see our own failings.  Instead, we can be secure that we simply are loved and valued and we shouldn't need to convince anyone, in particular ourselves.  We then can use that knowledge as the base that we launch from to do other things.  To love others.  To hone our craft.  To change the world.

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I truly know that this is easier said than done.  How do you move forward as you battle insecurities?