We've made it through one month with this sweet thing! I keep thinking that this has got to be one of the most difficult life adjustments we will ever go through, so making it through the initial month of that is worth celebrating! It simultaneously feels like it went by so fast and like it was forever ago that she was born.
First of all: I have no idea what I'm doing. I google things daily, usually the formula is: "How to do ____ at _____ age" or "Is _____ okay!?!?!?". Instagram has been wonderful as there is a community of parents out there who offer great encouragement and advice and I am really thankful for that.
I have learned like .5 things though, and it's exciting to begin to develop a lifestyle and beliefs that work for us. So here are the big things I've learned/thought in one month!
- My baby isn't 'good' or 'bad' (and neither is yours). "Is she a good or bad baby?" seems to be a common question people ask, and maybe it's a casual conversation piece like "how are you" that I shouldn't care too much about. But really? She's a baby! She hasn't developed morals or ethics yet! Any attribution of good or bad comes from my perception of her actions and I really shouldn't put so much pressure on her at this point. She cries. She wakes up in the middle of the night (to eat and keep herself alive...). I don't really know any different to compare 'good' from 'bad' and comparing to other babies isn't a healthy habit. My new answer: She is the most adorable baby I've ever seen, and I love her.
- Mourning my old way of life has been helpful to adjusting to the new way. Not a regretful mourning, but simply being sad and saying goodbye, at least for this period of time, to how things used to be. I realized that raising a newborn isn't just hard because you have to keep a tiny human alive, it's also hard because the freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want is gone. Realizing that it's okay to miss that, and then letting it go, helps me embrace the new.
- On that note, one of the HARDEST things for me in the first week with Sloane was how much I missed Colin! The amount of time spent together drastically dropped and I was so sad about this, even though I knew things were going to change. If there is one thing I would recommend to new parents it would be to cuddle, at least for 5 minutes, every day! That cuddle time, however brief, helps me feel connected and close to Colin which I so desperately need.
- Sloane's capacity for cuteness wins every time. Even when I feel totally exasperated and helpless when she is crying her face off, she will do a little lamb cry or pouty face or stop crying for a moment to look up at me and I can't help but giggle as my heart swells. The cuteness effect is amazing.
So here's to another 1 MILLION months!! (if she lives to be eight thousand)
Love that little punkin...