The Waiting Months

We wait for the seasons to come around again, for gardens to grow and flowers to bloom. Just as a gardener keeps vigil with the seed in the ground we, too, can keep vigil with the seed that wants to sprout in our lives.
Anxious, fretful, impatient waiting is nothing more than waiting. Waiting with purpose, patience, hope, and love, is vigilant waiting.
— Macrina Wiederkehr (Seven Sacred Pauses)

These words were such a comfort in the midst of a mentally fraught first trimester with Sloane.  While I don't carry quite the same fears this time around, I still love the image of standing vigilant beside the growing life within me.  It is something I can hold to and aspire to whilst the inner workings are beyond my control.

Things are different this time around, as it tends to go.  I feel like I'm experiencing a prolonged bout of PMS, naturally it seems like my period is just around the corner. Cramps have tightened around my torso and are holding strong.  While experiencing no symptoms would be more pleasant physically, I appreciate being witness to my body actively working to create a home.  

And it's raining today, which feels apt. Darkening, hunkering down, waiting, at peace.